I go to a mega-church and I’m not sure why b/c I’m actually not a fan of big churches.
I like the intimacy of small churches, but thats perhaps why I go to a big church here, I want to hide.
At times it feels like I’m being pulled in a million directions. There’s always something to do, someone to hangout with, a place to volunteer at, etc. Small churches ask a lot of you, especially when they realize what your gifts and occupation are. So though my approach isn’t healthy on this side of the world I don’t feel guilty b/c I have plenty of fellowship throughout the week. I have people who know me, who challenge/encourage/kick-me-in-the-butt/speak truth, and love me.
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In the past I would rarely cut my people-time for alone-time, but I’ve noticed in the past 7 months that as a counselor I need time away from people as well. I see people all day, hear their problems and joys, and sometimes when I’m hanging out with people it feels like I’m still at work. I don’t mind being there for my friends, but I need a break to rest and just-be as well.
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I don’t feel like people always understand b/c their jobs may not engage them on an emotional level 24/7. So when they do finally spend time with friends they draw-in emotionally; however, my job constantly forces me to be engaged emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. After several hours of that per day, you can only handle so much. I’ve come to a conclusion over my time here, I will likely never work full-time in this profession b/c if I do it will destroy me. Also I’ve come to recognize that I’m not God (sad, but true). Turns out I’m just another messed up struggling human being. Sigh.
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On a cool note there are perks in going to a mega-church: I’ve seen the Vice President of Kenya and Miss Kenya for the Miss Universe competition, who is super tall and still wears 4 inch heals. She’s at least s 6’7! Kinda a giant.
you’re my hero!
I can sympathize with you, Becky. After working 12-hour nursing shifts, and constantly being at the beck and call of my patients and their family members, holding their hands, listening to them, helping them out… I go home and I don’t want to talk to anybody or see anybody else. It’s like I’m in people-overload. I need some alone time. You know, I don’t think that’s always a bad thing, and I don’t think you should feel guilty about that. Just remember, after Jesus would be surrounded by humanity and ministering to people practically 24/7, even he needed some alone time, and would go out and pray/meditate on his own.